How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
