did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
