The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
