He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
