Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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