Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
