All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
