No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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