WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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