Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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