did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
