Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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