Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
