At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
