I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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