I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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