He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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