I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
