its not stalking. its research.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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