Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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