Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
