i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
