If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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