Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
