She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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