i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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