She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
