If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
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