No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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