Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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