mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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