His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
