i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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