I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
