I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
