you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
