i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
