Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
