Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
