im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to make out with him forever
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
