Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
