Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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