who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
