You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
