I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
