whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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