what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
