I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
