there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
