she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
