Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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