So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
